acceptance

Why Group Therapy Works, Part 2

by Sam Bearer, PLPC

In the first part of this blog series, we looked at how vulnerability in a therapy group is key to unlocking positive change in our group members’ lives.  The second way group therapy works is by offering the experience of unconditional positive regard of the group for each particular member, both in a single instance of intentional vulnerability as well as consistently over time.  This experience becomes an emotional touchstone for a reality fundamentally at odds with, and outside of, the negative emotional experiences that so often serve as the foundation for addictive behaviors.  If we didn’t have these negative emotional realities, or had a better way of coping with them, we would not have to resort to our numbing drug of choice. 

The trouble is that at some point we learned to survive the negative emotional storm by using something to numb, and we became hooked. 

As a result, we have lost the internal resilience to be able to handle it.  This dulls our awareness to such a degree that we are no longer conscious of the emotions that drove us to use in the first place.  One unique way that group work helps to uncover these emotions and simultaneously provide an experience of unconditional positive regard is through playing out the relational patterns and dynamics that an individual learned in his family of origin.  However, because the group is not that same environment, the members of this “new family” will respond differently to an individual’s usual style of relating.  For many, this brings up all sorts of anxiety, but it also brings the possibility of learning different ways of coping with these anxieties in the here and now.  Each member experiences the other group members reflecting on how they are affected by each other’s stories and then learns how more accurately to process, reflect, and self-evaluate openly with the group. 

A person may never have considered the questions or perspectives that are shared by others, or he may receive empathy from the very kind of person he assumed would regard him as weak or unimportant.

 The way group therapy ties both of the dynamics of vulnerability and unconditional positive regard together is a safe environment.  This is in part created by the therapist but must be maintained and reinforced by the group.  If safety is not a common value of the group, it won’t be possible to adequately support members or appropriately challenge them, which I will talk about more in the next part of this blog.

How You View Your Body Matters

by Melinda Seley, PLPC

In 2016, more than 10,500 females between the ages of 10 and 60 and from 13 different countries around the world were surveyed as part of “The Dove Global Beauty and Confidence Report”. The results of this study show that low body esteem is a common challenge shared among women and girls around the world, without regard for age or geography. Nearly all women (85%) and girls (79%) said they opt out of important life activities – such as trying out for a team or club or engaging with loved ones – when they don’t feel good about how they look.

And though the statistics may look somewhat different if men had been included in this study, I believe it is safe to say that the struggle with body image is shared among just about all of us. The impact of advertising and media showing unrealistic standards of beauty, an “always on” social media culture pushing for perfection, and our own personal experiences of shame and beliefs about our body leave us overly fixated on appearance and the believing that any imperfection is something to be hidden.

Are you aware of how you relate to your body?

Often our relationship to our body happens subconsciously, but as the Dove study showed, it can have significant impacts on the choices we make and how we engage with the world around us. If you find yourself unsure of your relationship to your body, perhaps the questions below can serve as a helpful self-assessment:

  • Do you constantly weigh yourself, check yourself in the mirror, or obsess about a body part that isn’t the way you want it to be?
  • Do you continually use negative terms to describe the way you look?
  • Do you believe everything would be better if your body was different?
  • Do you feel that you have to do something to change your appearance before you can have fun, go on vacation, etc.?

If you answered yes to any of the above, it might be helpful to consider where your ideal body image came from. Who has defined that for you and what does it mean if it is not achieved? And what do you believe is needed in order to achieve that body? The reality of living in this world is that our bodies will fail us – either through sickness, injury, chronic disease, hereditary issues, bad choices, or age. Is there a place you need to grieve your broken body?

And what is keeping you from accepting the body you have and being free in your body – to live and engage fully in life?