by Jonathan Hart, LPC
Living in this world means living in the tension between good and evil, love and sorrow, joy and pain. It is to experience the pleasant comfort of cuddling with your spouse on the couch and to ache with the beauty of the moment, while knowing that the moment must inevitably end. It is to experience the trauma of loss and death and to know that growth and wisdom often come through pain. Juliet loves the sweetness of Romeo’s affection as they say “good night” and yet must release him for a time to do without it.
To deny or diminish either of the parts is to live out of balance. To pretend there is no pain is to smother and invalidate your genuine and legitimate grief. To live in the pessimism that says “good is always crushed” is to smother real and life-giving joy. We can exist in either of these out-of-balance ways, but we cannot truly live.
To love is to risk loss, and the more we love, the more pain we experience in the loss. Intimacy requires vulnerability, and the more open and emotionally naked we become with the other, the greater the closeness and experience of connection. We live in a world of friction, and yet within the friction there is heat and light and life itself.
If you are protecting yourself from either of these elements, consider that a full, rich experience of life in this world is only possible when we acknowledge the truth of sorrow and loss while holding on to solid hope that there is good and light in the world at the same time.