by Sam Bearer, PLPC
In the first part of this blog series, we looked at how vulnerability in a therapy group is key to unlocking positive change in our group members’ lives. The second way group therapy works is by offering the experience of unconditional positive regard of the group for each particular member, both in a single instance of intentional vulnerability as well as consistently over time. This experience becomes an emotional touchstone for a reality fundamentally at odds with, and outside of, the negative emotional experiences that so often serve as the foundation for addictive behaviors. If we didn’t have these negative emotional realities, or had a better way of coping with them, we would not have to resort to our numbing drug of choice.
The trouble is that at some point we learned to survive the negative emotional storm by using something to numb, and we became hooked.
As a result, we have lost the internal resilience to be able to handle it. This dulls our awareness to such a degree that we are no longer conscious of the emotions that drove us to use in the first place. One unique way that group work helps to uncover these emotions and simultaneously provide an experience of unconditional positive regard is through playing out the relational patterns and dynamics that an individual learned in his family of origin. However, because the group is not that same environment, the members of this “new family” will respond differently to an individual’s usual style of relating. For many, this brings up all sorts of anxiety, but it also brings the possibility of learning different ways of coping with these anxieties in the here and now. Each member experiences the other group members reflecting on how they are affected by each other’s stories and then learns how more accurately to process, reflect, and self-evaluate openly with the group.
A person may never have considered the questions or perspectives that are shared by others, or he may receive empathy from the very kind of person he assumed would regard him as weak or unimportant.
The way group therapy ties both of the dynamics of vulnerability and unconditional positive regard together is a safe environment. This is in part created by the therapist but must be maintained and reinforced by the group. If safety is not a common value of the group, it won’t be possible to adequately support members or appropriately challenge them, which I will talk about more in the next part of this blog.